By now you probably know that I am not an advocate of Cry-It-Out methods, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t sound appealing from time to time. Like when your 10 month old wakes up every 15 minutes for the first half of the night & every hour for the second half. Like when your whole family is sick with the stomach flu. Like when you stayed up too late after waking up too early. Like when you just want a few minutes to yourself or with your spouse. Like when my husband and I fall asleep before the boys do.
I was at the point where I was so frustrated with Julian’s sleep issues one day that I decided to just let him cry in his crib b/c he was exhausted & should have been napping (but wouldn’t let me put him down). I left him in his crib, screaming his head off, & went downstairs to put in a load of laundry. By the time I came back up (5 minutes maybe?), he had thrown up all over himself & his bed from screaming so horribly.
To me that was a clear sign that CIO would not work for us. We were not talking about a baby who fusses & kicks to settle down. We were talking about a little boy shaking, clawing at me, choking, gasping b/c I left him for a few minutes.
I understand that there are certain cases where leaving a baby cry is better than the alternative. And this was one of those cases. I was getting so frustrated that I needed to walk away, recover, & come back to comfort him.
I also understand that these trying times are when he needs me the most. When he is not sick, teething, or going through a developmental spurt he sleeps pretty well! Unfortunately, those times have been few & far between this winter. Recently, he managed to pop 4 top teeth all at the same time; no wonder he didn’t want to be put down!
I guess my point is that there will be a time when we will sleep again, & that sleep training does not have to be for everyone. I appreciated this article that theorizes that there are two different kinds of babies – those that release tension by crying & those that increase tension by crying. Both of my boys have definitely been the type that only escalate when left to their own devices.
As desperate as I may get for sleep, I at least have one kiddo under my belt so that I know I am not ruining Julian forever by not sleep training him. Matteo has turned out just fine, & he manages to sleep in his own room with no more night-wakings than any other preschooler I know 🙂
You are not alone in the frustrations of having sleepless nights & inconvenient days, but here’s a reminder for all of us…