My fascination with personality types began in my high school Psychology class & continues to this day. Now as a parent I understand how important it is to know yourself – your strengths & weaknesses. And it is also crucial to understand your child.
This may seem fairly obvious, but many parenting books fail to address the fact that parenting styles must adapt to the personality type of the child. Many parenting books offer a one-size-fits-all guide that becomes very frustrating when the techniques do not work for you & your child.
Trust me. I read tons of them…
My son was a very difficult baby. The doctors chalked it up to colic, but I suspect that it may have had more to do with personality clashes.
This suspicion was confirmed when I found a personality test where you answer questions about your child to find out their personality type once they are four years old or older. I took the test here, found the results to be spot on, saw that they had a book, bought it on Amazon, reached out to the author to see if she would be interested in a sponsored post, & here we are!
What I discovered through the Parenting by Temperament website was that my first son who is now four is almost the exact opposite personality type as me. No wonder we struggled so much during that first year together as mother & son!
My son’s personality type is ISTP. Mine is INFJ.
So while we can relate on the introverted aspects of our personalities, every other aspect is different. I enjoy routine, order, & neatness. He resists all of that with every fiber of his being.
Parenting by Temperament goes over each personality type in great detail as it pertains to children & adults; but even more helpful is that it goes over personality types of parents & how they relate to different types of children.
The NF parent section pointed out to me in bold print that the SP child would be my biggest challenge. While I have known this to be true, it was very nice to have it validated.
Through reading the book I have learned to appreciate many of my son’s strengths, & I will continue to encourage him along those avenues. It was also helpful for me to read about my own shortcomings & strengths. A lot of times we feel that our way is the only way, & as an INFJ I rely on my feelings heavily. Turns out that the same empathy that makes me a good mother also is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to discipline.
I could go on & on about the specifics that held true for myself & my son; however, since each & every one of you will have different scenarios, I will just encourage you to go buy Parenting by Temperament & make your home a happier, healthier place for all of the personality types that live there.
*And to be clear… my son has made me grow in ways that I never thought possible. He has changed me for the better, & I have become a more well rounded person & mother thanks to his challenges. We get along wonderfully now, & I adore him no matter how difficult some days may be*